Cornell's Mountain

Cornell passed away today, just a little while ago. Yesterday my sister said. "We didn't know that when we started climbing Cornell's Mountain with him, that it was going to be the stairway to Heaven." So, this is where we can't go with him any farther. But he won't blaze this trail alone. His parent were there to greet him, and a brother, friends and I suspect another.  After his surgery in July, when Cornell wanted to change his occupation, I didn't tell you that he was going to become a pilot. He asked me to look up Sky West to see if they were taking applications. In college he took flight lessons. He even had the back cut out of his shirt, the ceremony for a first solo flight. Life took over and he wasn't able to finish. . . until today. He got his wings. I Can Only Imagine

Yesterday, when I was straining to make out what Cornell was telling me, I leaned in close and concentrated really hard. And he said, "What station is the football game on?"  Then I knew for sure that Cornell was alert and aware. He has not been doing much talking today though. When the hospice nurse came by today she said that Cornell has advanced to the last stages. She estimated that he would likely pass on in 24-72 hours. I wanted you all to know.  

Cornell's condition has taken a turn over the last two days. I can't understand him when he speaks so I have to guess at what he might want. His vital signs are less stable. He is still being brave.

The hospice nurse came on Friday evening. She was helpful. We should be on their schedule now. Cornell is getting harder to understand when he speaks, and has a sharp pain in his right arm which makes it hard to sleep anywhere but on his back.  Yesterday, I brought a green pepper in from the garden to show Cornell. In the first part of June we still had not planted the garden. Cornell was determined that we have a garden! He usually did most of the work. He was waiting for a break in the weather and for his dizziness to subside. Somewhere along the way, Cornell had bought some starts. . . onion sets, tomatoes, celery, tomatillos and peppers.  We were trying to keep them alive long enough to get them in the ground. Finally there was a good day and Cornell got help getting the pepper starts out to the garden. The best he could do was to lay in the dirt on his side and dig the holes with a hand shovel, put the plant in the hole, fill in the dirt around the roots then he'd drag a ...

Hospice is having a slow start-up. I can't help but wonder if it's part of the labor shortage. It's been a week since the decision to go on hospice was made. A home health nurse came by on Monday. She listened to Cornell's heart and took blood pressure. Then she updated her records and said that a hospice nurse would be by with a folder with the hospice info. So today, we had a CNA come by at 8:00 a.m. to give a bed bath. She is the only one we've seen so far.  Cornell is still handling his situation with more patience than I could have ever expected of him or anyone. He is ready to be done with the difficulty though. Most days are the same. He just tries to get in a few bites of food and sips of liquid. He is sometimes disoriented and will ask questions that are surprising. Like, after a show about a boy who befriended an elephant, (I couldn’t tell if Cornell was aware that it was on), he asked if we own a heard of elephants? I told him, "No; our yard isn...

Today Cornell was brave. He agreed to get up and into the wheelchair. Ashlee (our youngest) and Caleb decided to bless their baby at our house. They were hoping that Grandpa could be there for it, and even participate. That could not happen at the church. By raising the head of the bed slowly Cornell could get used to being in an upright position and finally sitting on the edge of the bed. Logan and Shon were able to transport him to the wheelchair. But he hadn't sat there very long before he asked to be put back in bed. We let him rest a minute and finally persuaded him to go into the timber (great) room. Once he agreed, we got his white shirt and tie on. He was able to be in the circle and visit for a few minutes and then asked to go back to the bedroom and lay down.  That effort wore him out. He slept on and on. I started to get a little worried. He slept through checking his blood sugar and oxygen level. I finally was able to awaken him enough to eat a few bites of dinner at ar...

I'm sorry, I have been slow at keeping you posted. Coming home has been . . . I don't know. . . all consuming.  Home health has been here. They are amazing people. The CT scan from Monday revealed new tumors and the growth of existing tumors in Cornell's lungs. This is compared to the CT scan from a week prior. His body has been through a lot and can't hold the cancer back. The scan also showed a tumor in his adrenal gland. His oncologist, back from vacation, called Thursday and spoke with both of us. He said that the immunotherapy can have a positive effect on patients who are strong enough to eat, get dressed, and sit up for at least half of the day. Cornell spends almost all day in bed and has for a couple months. For weakened patients, treatment can cause more harm than good. After much thought, Cornell has opted to go on hospice. They will come Monday. When I started this blog I just wanted family and friends to be able to keep up with Cornell's progress. S...

Cornell was able, with some difficulty, to make it to his CT scan, but it hadn't been read and interpreted by the time we met with the oncologist, who had to get up to speed on Cornell's case (His Dr. is on vacation). He said though, based on the CT scan from Utah last week, and the condition Cornell is in, that he would not do a port with aggressive treatment, but do a milder immunotherapy, meaning they would eliminate one of the drugs originally planned and administer the other through a vein. Treatments would be spaced every 4 weeks. But the doc. thought we would do one treatment and see if it's having any impact, and decide after that. He also said it was quite reasonable to not do the treatment and not have to deal with the side effects and go on hospice instead. Cornell chose the treatment. That plan will go through insurance then get scheduled, maybe later this week.

Cornell is sleeping. He should save his strength for tomorrow's appointments. He doesn't have a lot of strength to spare. He is set up in the guest room because it's on the main floor. He hasn't been out of the room since we came home. And we continue to wait.

When all options were explored, Cornell just wanted to go home. We were finally cleared to go. I cleaned our things out of the rehab hospital room, we loaded Cornell in the car, reclined his seat and headed for Pocatello. He bravely endured the 2½ hour drive. There are 6 stairs into the house from the garage. That seemed like the best way in. It's the shortest way and the only way to not have to deal with the elements. But there was not enough room for a ramp. Our son-in-law, Caleb, built a hoist for getting Cornell in the house in his wheelchair. We tried it today and it worked beautifully. Caleb is currently studying . . . Engineering.  Right now Cornell is resting in a familiar bed in a familiar place. Home health will be by tomorrow. Norco came tonight and brought oxygen. Monday he will have another CT scan of his chest and abdomen preparing for immunotherapy. As luck would have it, our oncologist leaves for vacation tomorrow and will be gone for a week.  Here we go -...

It looks like there is no room in any care facilities in Pocatello, so we are putting off going home for another day while we work on a plan B, which might actually be yesterday's plan A. The lack of room is about a staffing shortage.  If I get to talk with the case manager before the end of the work day, I might learn more and then I'll add to this post.

Today we waited to hear about the arrangements for going home. We still haven't heard anything different than that they will discharge Cornell tomorrow. Today therapy was light, eating was light and lots of resting. He was grateful to see a couple friendly faces from home.

Today when the Doctors made their rounds, they were curious about why Cornell's oxygen levels were still low, so they ordered a CT scan of his chest. His last one was about 6 weeks ago; it was just before coming to the hospital in Utah. The CT scan happened this morning. Cornell was not happy about having another IV put in. The day went on with speech, physical and occupational therapy. I practiced with Cornell, transferring him in and out of a simulated car. I was happy that Cornell was able to eat more today, and an amazing delivery came to our room. It was PF Changs lettuce wraps, Cornell's favorite. His stomach seemed settled, but his skin was giving him grief. He said it was a painful itch. At least all the troubles aren’t usually happening at the same time, and he was able to enjoy a lettuce wrap. Thank you and thank you everyone for the ongoing prayers. This afternoon, the Doctors came back to the room. They don't usually come twice, but they had seen the results o...